We bonded over and shared stories about what you’d done, what you’d made us do. Afterwards, I went to an inpatient treatment center where I made friends with a bunch of other people whose lives, like mine, you had wrecked. I was sick with withdrawal from you, but I felt your hold weakening. The first few days were the worst.Īt a medical detox center, I missed you every second of the day. He told me I didn’t have to fight you alone. Maybe I was embarrassed to admit how much control I’d given you… But I was so desperate, I called someone I knew who was sober. And I knew there was nothing I could do about it.Īnd then I sought help. You sent me to the hospital more than a few times. I spent years trying to leave you, but I never succeeded for more than a few days or weeks at a time. We were together again.Īfter that, my life is a blur. Once I was with you, you wouldn’t take no for an answer. But it never worked out that way with you. I thought it was just a rebound, that I would see you once and then return to my life. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you.Ī week later, I found myself fighting with my girlfriend. I knew it wouldn’t be good to talk to you. I didn’t even look at you the whole time I was there. Sure, there were times when I missed you when I felt weak or bored without you, but I was happy. I started a new job, got a girlfriend, and started to forget you. I cleaned my apartment and redecorated to remove all traces of you from my life. I stopped frequenting the liquor store you always hung around in. The other people I was with were bothered by that, and they began to avoid me because they didn’t like you - and they no longer liked the “me” I had become. I reached a point where I wouldn’t go anywhere without you. You threatened me with illness, depression, anxiety. After only an hour or two, I would feel you calling me, tugging at me, telling me I had to go home and be with you or I would suffer consequences. I would try sometimes to go out and have fun with my real friends. No longer brainwashed by society, I hardly realized how I was being brainwashed by you.Ĭooped up in my apartment for weeks at a time with only you for company, I began to dawn on me that I was in an unhealthy and abusive relationship with you. Abandoning friendship, I turned to exploiting others. Abandoning my career goals, I turned to petty crimes. You seduced me with the idea that I was free of all prejudices and that “society” was trying to brainwash me. When I objected that I needed school to find a good career, you told me that I didn’t need a career, that there were other ways of making money aside from hard work. You advised me that I was too smart for school. I should abandon my friends, shut out my family. I felt like if I had you by my side I could conquer the world.Īfter a while, you started to tell me that I didn’t need anyone else. You said I was smarter than other people, even more attractive. I acted differently around my friends, I ditched school to be with you, I even spent my hard-earned money on you.Īnd what did you give me? You flattered me. I liked the way you made me feel but I didn’t like how I was around you. When I first met you, I wasn’t sure how I felt.
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